Becoming a "Mummybore".

Dear Oscar,

You are coming up to five months now and you're starting to develop habits and a personality. To watch you develop and grow is fascinating and I'm struggling to stop spamming up people's Facebook feeds with baby news. (Incidentally, is Facebook even a thing anymore? I can imagine you saying in ten years time "Ah mum! No one uses the Internet anymore!" and I'll be VERY uncool.)

If I wrote about every time you did something cute, my blog would look like "haha you farted for ages today! No more curries for mummy!" or "you just winked at me! No really, you did!".

When I got pregnant, I never thought I'd turn into one of those mum's. You know the type, seemingly having nothing better to do than talk about their child's bowel movements, tweeting about every coo, every smile, every time little Johnny cries at loud noises. But here I am.

I find you absolutely spellbinding. I could watch you all day, I examine every part of your face, I know your smell, your noises and cries, I know when you need a hug or a feed or a nap and bizarrely, I feel the need to tell everyone else about it. I'm finding myself becoming a mummybore Oscar.
So here I'm going to document the cute things you do that I feel are hilarious that other parents scoff at ("Pfft that's nothing, my Susie did that when she was a foetus!"), and those without kids could not give a appletini about so please forgive me.

The way you suck on your bottom lip when you want comfort.

The way crisp packets will amuse you endlessly. (Mum of the year award to me for allowing my child to play with garbage... bite me.)

The way you stick your little booty out and pout your lips when you're having a stretch... I'm hoping you don't do this when you're 18...

The way we can hold entire conversations without you not knowing one word of English. I'm becoming fluent in baby however.

The way you always want to be standing up. And also the way you like to bounce about when you're standing up. You gave your Great Aunt Gok a run for her money yesterday by leaping around on her lap when she held you up.

The way your left leg seems to have a life of it's own. You seem to prefer your left hand also, will you be a leftie like mum?

The way you seem to have a personal vendetta about your teddy bear hat. You really hate that thing.

The way you do the loudest farts I have ever heard. How can one small person make such a loud noise?! More than once I have been blamed for the noise you've made.

The way you get excited and wave and kick when I say "Good morning Oscar!".
The way you kick your podgy little legs when you're having a bath. So much so you end up kicking water in your own face, spluttering and then going back to the kicking. You LOVE baths. I hope that never changes.

The way you are obsessed with ceiling fans. You nearly threw yourself off your daddy's lap trying to stare at one in Frankie and Benny's.

The way you pull my top down when you're hungry.

The way you're indiscriminate about who's top you're pulling down when you're hungry. Pro tip: most people cannot lactate. Your dad definitely can't.

The way you stick your tongue out when you're concentrating.

And finally,

The way you look in a permanent state of surprise. Your eyebrows go higher than I thought was possible. Funny boy.

There are many more things I could note down but I would be here all day and you have just steadily sharted and filled your nappy in my lap so it's time for a nappy change. Well done.

I love you, silly baby. 

Mummy
xxxx