Dear Oscar,
As much as I appreciate your newfound confidence in the latest skill you have acquired (grabbing), there are certain things that I really would prefer you not to pull. Below is a list detailing such things, in no particular order:
Auntie Hannah's hair
Not a day goes by where we do not hear the belaboured cries of "Ow he's got me hair! Let go you little git! Argh! Let go Oscar! Ow ow ow he's ripped out a chunk again!". When your auntie finally gains sweet freedom, I invariably find a few long blonde hairs clutched in your tiny hand like they're a ticket to a certain Oompah Loompah staffed confectionery factory.
Mummy's/Nanna's/Grandad's glasses
These things are expensive! And my poor eyesight combined with your clutch-grab-THROW manoeuvre I'm fearing yet another trip to the opticians.
The dog.
She doesn't taste good and probably will not react well to becoming a chew toy.
Mummy's eyeball.
This should go without saying but bloody hell it hurts when you pinch my eyelids. Bully.
Auntie Hannah's necklace.
"THIS IS FROM TOPSHOP!"
And finally,
Uncle Josh's chin.
As funny as this is for everyone involved (except Josh, obviously) he doesn't like it... actually carry on, it's still too funny.
I love you,
Mummy
xxxx
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